snippets

[ohioisforweirdos]

cw: the scenes for Zack and Clementine take place before Tom figured out his identity as a trans man. It is due to this, and the narration being from his perspective at the time, that he is misgendered and referred to by his dead-name. How a trans person prefers to talk about their past is an individual decision that can vary from person to person, but I know this can be a trigger for people so I wanted to warn up-front.

zack williams.

cw: gender dysphoria, anxiety attack, extremely brief emeto mention

Susan didn't even want to go to prom. All of her classmates stuffed into the gym with loud music and dumb high-school drama, and she's expected to "dress up"? No thank you. But Zack wanted to. He wanted to do all the "normal boyfriend-girlfriend things", and going to prom together was one of the big ones. So Susan agreed, because he was her boyfriend and she wanted to make him happy.

So her grandmother took her dress shopping, and to a nail salon, and she got her eyebrows threaded (which was hell on Earth, never again), and did her hair and make-up for the night, and Susan hated every single step of it. Her grandmother shows her the pictures that she took, beaming over how beautiful a young lady her granddaughter has become, and Susan-- she feels like she's looking at a different picture entirely. All she sees is someone that looks awkward and uncomfortable and weird in every photo.

Zack pulls open the car door for her, trying to be a gentleman. "You look really pretty." He says, smiling.

Her own in return is strained. "Thanks. You, um, you look really nice too. Handsome."

This seems to satisfy him, and he closes the car door for her. Dinner is fine, but the heels are already starting to hurt her feet, and the earrings feel so heavy in her ears, and the dress keeps falling down in the front so she has to keep tugging it up, and then they get to prom and the music is too loud, and none of it is stuff she likes listening to anyway, and it feels like everyone is looking at her funny when she tries to dance, and it just-- it all feels so awful.

Someone bumping into her on the dance floor is the last straw. She hobbles off and away from Zack without a word and barely manages to get the bathroom stall locked behind her before she's sobbing hard enough that she can't hold herself up anymore, curling up on the bathroom floor, the very nice dinner Zack had paid for and a few cups of punch emptying into the toilet.

She doesn't know how long it's been when she finally comes back out, but several girls have come in and either immediately left to find another bathroom, or just ignored the crying in the stall at the end. She tries to wash her face off in the sink, but her make-up is completely fucked, and Zack looks pissed the fuck off when she sees him again.

"Where the hell've you been? I've been trying to call you for hours, you just-- ran off and then disappeared!" He demands, and she stares down at his shoes.

"My phone's in my purse. I left it at the table." She mutters, because it's the truth. She doesn't have pockets, and she didn't want it to fall out of her dress while they were dancing. She thought she wouldn't need it, anyway.

"Where were you? This was supposed to be fun, and you ruined it for no reason!" He snaps, and she winces.

"Can you take me home please?" She asks. If he doesn't... she's not sure what she'll do. Her grandparents are definitely already asleep, and she doesn't want to wake them up.

"Oh, so you finally come back and you immediately want to leave? I wanted to go to after-prom too, you know. I bought the tickets for it and everything. Now the whole night is a waste, so thanks for that."

He does take her home, but he complains the whole way, about how she embarrassed him in front of all his friends, about how much money he'd spent, that he'd just wanted to have a good time with his girlfriend and she couldn't keep it together for one night. She doesn't try to explain, because she can't-- it all sounds so small and petty. She completely freaked out because-- what? The music was too loud? Her outfit was uncomfortable? Someone accidentally bumped into her? It sounds stupid and childish even in her own head. So she deserves to hear whatever it is he has to say about it.

clementine bhaduri.

cw: gender dysphoria, death of grandparents

"I think we should break up."

Susan stares blankly at her girlfriend, almost unable to believe what she's hearing. "What-- Why?"

"Why? Because you've completely frozen me out. I know you're going through a lot right now, and I've tried to be patient because of that, but I'm going through shit too. I have no idea what's going on in your head, you won't talk to me about it! You won't talk to me about anything!" They're sat on Clementine's bed in her dorm room together, and Susan turns her gaze to the floor, feeling herself sink lower against the wall she's leaning on. This is a mistake. Clementine sighs. "You won't even look at me right now."

She tentatively raises her gaze again, and the deeply disappointed look on Clementine's face at the prolonged silence makes her wince. Everything is so confusing right now, and if she could find the words to explain it, she wouldn't even know where to start. "I'm sorry." She whispers, because everything else gets caught behind her teeth. Her grandparents, the only family she had left in the world, suddenly died in their sleep from a gas leak. She has to fly back a week before finals to try and handle the house and all their possessions and the funeral. Something has always felt wrong in a way that she's only just starting to become aware of, and maybe she's not a "she" at all, but here she is, enrolled at a women's college. She's too afraid to open that Pandora's box right now, not when she loves this school, loves the friends she's made here. But she can't unnotice that something's wrong wrong wrong, and it always has been.

"Me too." Clementine sighs. "I think... I think you should go."

"Okay." Susan gets to her feet and the disappointment in Clementine's expression deepens.

pending.

cw: warnings here

story here

eli sandoval.

cw: emotional abuse, alcohol abuse, stalking behavior

"There you are." A familiar shadow, and the even more familiar body that is casting it, crowds Tom against the bookshelf he's rearranging. Tom freezes up, and it's the wrong move. He can feel Eli's chuckle against his back. He whips around to face the man, putting on the sternest face he can manage.

"What are you doing here?" He hisses.

"It's a public library, baby. I'm a member of the public." Eli enunciates carefully-- too carefully. This clues Tom in to look for the smell of alcohol, and it's definitely there under the cologne. "And you wouldn't answer your phone. Besides, I'm being spontaneous and romantic, surprising you and all, you love that shit."

A hand grabs at his hip and Tom's face heats with a potent mix of embarrassment, lust, and anger. Eli smirks down at him and tries to lean in for a kiss, but Tom-- Tom is done. He's done being reeled back in by this man, done making Lori worry every time he comes back with his heart broken again. What he had once thought was a roguishly handsome smirk is now an arrogant sneer. He places a hand over Eli's mouth, pushing him back by the face. "Stop it. We are not dating anymore. I'm not doing this with you again. I can't believe you would show up to my workplace drunk off your ass!" He hisses, mindful of how easily voices carry in the quiet of the library.

"So's that homeless guy over at the computers I just watched you bring a coffee to. I don't see you yelling at him about it." Tom can feel the movement of his lips against the palm of his hand, and it makes him bristle even more.

"He's not bothering anyone. You are. Let. Go of me." He says, slow and so much calmer than he feels.

"Hey, everything good over here?" Tom startles to hear Todd's voice and turns to see his friend coming around the row of bookshelves with a concerned frown. "You okay, Tom?"

Eli scoffs and pulls away at the intrusion, and Todd puts himself between the two of them, a protective hand on Tom's shoulder. "Fucking whatever. I was just bored and you're easy. Bet you're sucking his cock now, huh?"

He leaves, and Tom swallows back hot tears of humiliation. Todd's arm moves around his shoulder, shepherding him back to the break room. "Man, that guy sucked." Tom snorts out a laugh and mumbles an agreement, and Todd keeps going, trying to distract him. "So, uh, I had this idea for you for the campaign, do you wanna hear about it?"

pending.

cw: warnings here

story here

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